


Bad Habit

by somethin_random (wordsaremyfaith)



Category: The OC
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Ficlet, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-23
Updated: 2005-05-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 09:17:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4619934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsaremyfaith/pseuds/somethin_random
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>S2 Marissa character study, with a lot of Alex/Marissa shipping throughout.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Habit

You're like a bad habit to everyone who meets you. Ryan, Oliver, DJ, even Summer, sometimes. Not Luke – but then, he was your bad habit, too. He was more your equal, at least socially. You had the same friends, liked the same kinds of things.

You never felt like you were dragging him down. Not like you did with Ryan or DJ. Oliver… well, he had his own problems going on.

Sometimes you wonder why Summer's even friends with you, let alone your _best_ friend. Not that you don't like her – far from it. It's just that she's bubbly, pretty, sweet, funny, knows how to get the good guys. Why does she want you around?

Alex is different. You think you can somehow save her. You understand Ryan's savior complex, now, because that's how you feel about Alex: she needs you. No one's ever needed you before.

Well, no one who didn't need to be institutionalized. And isn't _that_ a comforting thought.

Alex is special. She understands you. Everyone else takes you for granted.

You've noticed girls before, of course – their lips, their hair, their breasts – but never in a way that made you want to _do_ something about it. Alex makes you want to do something. Kiss her breath away, maybe. You don't know. But you'd like to find out.

What do girls _do_ , anyway? You'll have to ask, won't you, because you don't know. Because you've never been with a girl before. Never _wanted_ to be with a girl before.

You think you might've wanted to be with Anna, if Ryan hadn't been distracting you. And Seth. Distracting her. And Summer, and Luke, and Oliver, and… your head spins just thinking about last year. But if there had been no Ryan, Seth, Summer, Luke, Oliver… you might have pulled Anna aside and asked to find out what her lip gloss tasted like. It's not like you haven't thought about it.

You wonder why Alex is with you, sometimes. When she could have anyone she wants. Why didn't she want Seth, for instance? You two are similar in many ways, except that he's less fucked-up.

But you're more exciting. And that gives you an edge.

What you don't know is that you'll always _be_ a bad habit, to everyone but her. Alex sees the side of you you'll never show, the side you _know_ in your heart is there, because everyone has some good in them, and that has to extend to you. It's simply not possible for _everyone except for Marissa Cooper_ to have some good in them.

You'll be a bad habit until you're a trophy wife, hanging off some rich man's arm and wishing for the thrill of rebellion. Or until you're locked up in permanent rehab, screaming and screaming your head off.

But habits can change. Maybe, once you've tasted Alex's lip gloss, you will too.


End file.
